


The Spirit and the Letter

by flashwitch



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Free Will, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Religion, Service, falling, not the book canon, this is specifically in the tv canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 23:32:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19239325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashwitch/pseuds/flashwitch
Summary: The pair muse on the nature of the plan and the nature of service.





	1. Life is so unnerving for a servant who's not serving.

**Author's Note:**

> This is specifically in the TV verse, not the book verse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley thinks about the nature of service.

 

Angels were created to serve. That is what they do. That is their purpose. It’s what they are for, all they are for. That’s why it is so shocking, so terrible, when Angels disobey.

 

After the Fall, after _he_ Falls, he isn’t sure what to do with himself. He follows Lucifer, because it’s something to do. Because if he doesn’t, he is not sure what will happen. Or, he knows what will happen, and it will certainly be bad. He never meant to Fall. He had loved God (still does, still talks to God in the night or when he was sad or desperate or… he talks to God all the time. God never answers. He had just asked questions, that couldn’t be wrong, could it?

 

But still, he Falls.

 

So, he goes with the rest of them. Calls himself a demon (a demon, he knows he is different, he knows he is changed, but he still feels like an Angel. He still has wings, he still does miracles, even if he can’t call them miracles anymore, and he knows, he’s seen what holy water can do to his fallen comrades. Proof that they are forever changed, and hell fire does not touch him. But he doesn’t _feel_ different.). But he’s a demon and demons follow Satan. He follows Lucifer and he follows orders, but it’s a job, not a purpose.

 

This is the bad thing about free will. When you can make decisions, you can make bad decisions. Not that he thinks asking questions and hanging round people who ask questions is necessarily wrong... And if he had it over again, he would probably do the same damned thing. Or do the same thing and be damned. 

Free will was not something angels were ever supposed to have. They were not made for it. Somehow, they had it anyway. He had it. And there are so many choices out there, so many options. But when you don’t know what to do, it’s easy to do what everyone else is

 

So, there he is. Damned. And without purpose. He doesn’t want to think that he has to serve. But he feels empty. Not empty. Just... he needs something, but he doesn’t know what that something is.

 

 

Then he meets an Angel, who gave away his flaming sword (and this isn’t rebellion, this isn’t punishable, the angel doesn’t fall, and Crowley loves and hates that in equal measure). And that gives him an idea. If you are following orders and doing your job, but find wiggle room around the edges... if you can guard the gate of Eden, but can give your sword away, if that is allowed, then he can be evil, but not evil. He can follow Lucifer to the letter, but have his own spirit.

 

So, that’s what he does. He finds his own path, his own way, and it fills the space. 


	2. We are not whole, without a soul to wait upon.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale muses on the nature of service.

After... 

 

After the world does not end, he is left wanting. He has always tried his best. He has maybe not always followed the letter of his orders, but he has always believed that he truly followed the spirit of the plan. 

And yes, he had done some things that are... well, he didn’t think the things he did were evil. Not capital E evil.

 

But some of his actions were certainly against the rules. 

 

Although, they can’t have been that bad. Even if Gabriel and the others hadn’t known what he had been up to, there was no way God didn’t know. That was basically God’s whole thing, knowing absolutely everything. God had known what he had done with the flaming sword as soon as he had done what it was that he did. God had known about The Arrangement (capital T, capital A) since they came up with it. They had been lying to themselves when they pretended no one knew.

 

God _always_ knows.

 

In that case, if God knows everything, and everything is part of The Plan (capital T, capital P, the ineffable plan) is he not serving God and God’s plan by doing whatever he wants?

 

The thought leaves him almost breathless. 

 

He has served so long, earnestly and faithfully, and when he has not been serving, he has thought himself selfish and he has thought himself broken (what is an angel with free will but a demon? But holy water doesn’t hurt him, he has not fallen yet). But what if? What if even when he thought he was not serving, he was still serving?

 

(And what does that mean then, for Crowley? For Lucifer? For all of those who have fallen so far and suffered so much?)

 

And really, for a long time now, he has been serving not God, but Good. The greater good, that is. And humanity, of course.

 

And now he has someone else to serve.

  



End file.
